|
First off, Where did the Medifast Diet bars go?!? Many thanks for any answer. Second question of mine... I've lost 56 lbs. in three months. My lovely and ever positive mother in law has assured me that I will gain my weight back.. |
|
|
|
Good question... I dunno what is the answer to that question. I'll do some Googling and get back to you if I bump into an decent answer. You should email the people at Medifast as they probably could give you help..
|
|
Tell her the truth. Most people DO gain it back, but you won't ever find out if you're one of the 5%ers if you don't lose it to begin with...
|
|
Yep...yep...sure is the truth...but hopefully you will learn new eating habits and not fall back into our old ways that lead us here in the first place LOL....turn those bad habits into MODERATION only and Im sure we should all be fine!!..
|
|
I know it feels hurtful but some people just don't always respond to changes around them in the most appropriate way. I would smile and tell her that you are going to do everything in your power to prove her wrong and that you could use her support. I wish you the best-you are doing great!..
|
|
Dunno if sarcasm or a snappy comeback will be helpful because she just is expressing what USUALLY happens to most people on diets, statistically speaking..
The best thing is to just agree and say YA, it's going to be a challenge for sure! But I'm sure I can do it!!! Never know til you try, huh.... If she continues to be negative, just agree and do what you want. That always diffuses arguements IMHO..... Ya, you're right, I'll sure have a battle...could you pass me the remote please?. Ya, most people DO gain it back...oh, dinner's ready. And if she gets aggressively negative, it's easiest to say something like "I really would rather talk about something else", and repeat it. Don't engage in the arguement, it never solves anything..... |
|
With people like that who I can't avoid/escape (like relatives or co-workers), I often take a "kill them with kindness" approachit drives THEM crazy, because they want a hostile response, and you're being perfectly rational, calm and sweet, so if they pick a fight, they'll just look worse and worse. Or else it just confuses them, lol. So for this, I would say something like, "Oh, MIL, it's so sweet of you to be so concerned about me. I know I'll be able to count on your support to get/keep the whole family in great shape!"..
|
|
"Go suck an egg"?.
No, that would be what I *thought*, not what I said.. I'm getting seriously sarcastic in my old age. My response would be, "You're right! Thank you for enlightening me! I shouldn't even try! I'll immediately stop dieting and regain my 56 pounds! Thank you! Thank you for stopping me from wasting my time and energy on trying to get healthier! Quick! Somebody give me a donut!. I do this when people say, "You know, smoking's bad for you.". The first time I did this I was taking a smoke break and some stranger confronted me with his anti-smoking message. I looked at the cigarette in horror and said, "Really?!" I then threw the cigarette onto the ground and stomped the crap out of it, screaming, "This man just saved my life! I had no idea they were bad for me! Thank you! Thank you for enlightening me!" The other smokers thought it was a hoot.. I do this with doctors, too.. When I was younger I'd be upset and I'd get defensive. Then I'd be hurt for days (weeks?) about how I handled the rude person, upset about them being rude in the first place, and on and on.. Now I snarl back. And they back down every time.. I know that dieting and loosing weight is not the same as smoking, but in both instances, people seem to think that it's their job to straighten you out. How we eat is extremely personal and nobody's business but our own.. I have a seriously forceful, opinionated family. I knew I'd have a fight on my hands when I started this. Right now I'm keeping Medifast a secret, but eventually it's coming out.. My plan is to tell them to KMA. For seven years I've tried to loose weight *their* way. This works. The other didn't. I'm doing what works... |
|
Shay - this is just what the doctor ordered, and she should get the point to KHBFMS...
|
|
My advice, change the subject. It's your journey (and success), not hers. It's OK to set boundaries..
Bunting. PS, congrats on your awesome weight loss!!!.. |
|
Agree - she has her opinion - prove her wrong with actions not words!..
|
|
That's the problem with MIL's....they speak. hahahaha..
Maybe, "Oh, pardon me, you have confused me with someone who might listen or care what you think"......no guess that's not very productive..."Oh, were you speaking to me or just reliving a bad experience"....no.....I think the killer with kindness suggestions coupled with the "could use your support" is the best way to go... |
|
Oh, has the family started a betting pool already? How much have your placed on my to fail?.
Beth.. |
|
Just keep losing the weight and work to keep it off. Nuff said. She will realize that her comments didn't bother you and that you are stronger than she thought. Whether she admits that or not..
I do understand. I told my co worker on the first day I started Medifast and she quickly said, "it won't work". She could stand to lose about 50 pounds, but won't make the effort. Three large pieces of pizza and a cupcake the other day and she watched me have a shake. haha My response to her is to lose the weight while she enjoys her pizza! I am not going to say a word, just let her see the results... |
|
I have a very obese mother and sister (and cousins, etc.) who I know wouldn't understand me doing MF. So I haven't told them anything. My MIL, on the other hand, is very healthy and supportive (not many 68 year olds pump iron daily, LOL!).
I would just change the subject or ignore it. MILs can be hard enough!.. |
|
This made me laugh so hard.
Fortunately I don't have to interact with my SOs mom all that often (THANK GOD) but when I've dropped some more weight I'm looking forward to seeing what her reaction is since she isn't aware that I'm on MF.. If she were to say anything negative though, I will just simply shrug and say "you could be right." and leave it at that. I've already made the decision to lose weight and have actually made a start which is the hardest part, all I have to do is keep eating my shakes and brownies and say bye bye to each lb lost. Bye Bye!.. |
|
I hate when people say that! Just say I will take one day at a time and I need all the support I can get. Why can't people mind their business. I have kept my weight off for 7 months now. You can do it too...
|
|
I lost 160 lbs and gained about 25 back....Going back on to self-correct starting tomorrow...That is truly how to keep from having massive gain back...paying attention and not allowing to get out of control...
|
|
Just say, in the most sincere and loving voice that you can muster, "awww, thank you so much for your support. It means a lot to me that you have so much faith in my abilities to stick with a healthy lifestyle". Then roll your eyes...
|
|
Love it, love it!!! I especially love the comment:.
"really? is that what happened to you?". LMAO!!! I also have overweight family members/friends who are suspicious of ANY weight loss program. It doesn't help that I lost about 50 pounds last year with Medifast and then gained it all back...LOL!!! Of course, I was making poor choices. However, I havn't told many people I'm on Medifast because I don't want to deal with remarks like that.. My hubby is trying to quit smoking at the same time, so we are each other's support system. All of my 'thinner' co-workers are also very supportive. Funny how it's the overweight people who take it personally when you try to lose weight. Like you want to leave the club or something.. Just keep keepin' on and lose that weight. You're worth it!. Renee.. |
|
I agree with everything that's been said & I could come up with a really smart reply, however, I don't think that this would improve your MIL disposition or your relationship with her.
So, I suggest to shrug your shoulders, sweetly say "Could be, but I don't think so" and than do what you need to do. Once you hit that maintenance stage, weigh yourself once a week (or so), set a weight allowance, say 5 lbs (over your ideal) & you know what to do if your weight creeps up towards those 5 lbs (MF). Don't let it go, nip it in the butt right away, this way you keep yourself healthy, slim, you proof your MIL wrong & you keep peace in the house, all in the same time, now what could be better than that?.. |
|
It never ceases to amaze me how easy some people find it to say something negative to someone who is trying to better themselves. Ummmm, I think the name for that is "HATERS". I understand that you are trying to be respectful to your MIL but respect goes both ways and she is not being respectful to you by continuously saying negative words to you about regaining weight. I would thank her for her concern but also let her know that you need to hear and would appreciate positive words and if she can't say anything to support you, then perhaps you and her can't discuss your weight loss anymore. If that doesn't work, you may need to limit your time around her..
You are doing great and definitely an inspiration!! Keep up the good work and to heck with "HATERS"... |
|
Hubby and I made the decision to not even tell my MIL that we were on Medifast or even that we are losing weight.. Luckily she lives in FL (we are in MO) so we don't see her that often, and haven't since starting this program. She has been on my hubby's case about his weight for the last 25 yrs and I KNOW that although she would be supportive of his decision to actually DO something about his weight, she would be very skeptical about the method we have chosen to do it. So, we just didn't tell her or his sister. We have a family event coming up in May and we both will be at our goals by that time. I made goal 3/3 and hubby is 6 lbs away from his 50 lb loss goal.
She will most definitely ask how he did it, and at that time, rather than go into any technical details, we will say, high protein, low carb, lots of water and exercise! That's all we feel she needs to know. My hubby's brother had quadruple by-pass surgery recently (at age 42!!) and that was MY hubby's wake up call that he really needed to do something esp since he is 8 yrs older. Unfortunately, his brother has reverted back to eating unhealthy foods and has not been following dr's orders. Only positive thing is he visited us around the time hubby had lost about 25 lbs and seemed to be inspired by his brother's success so far. We are actually looking forward to seeing my MIL, and I know it will be a very emotional moment when she see's her son back down to the weight he was over 25 yrs ago!! I think we made the right decision though by keeping this to ourselves! She'll no doubt ask him how he plans on keeping the weight off, but atleast we didn't have to hear that question for the last 4 months!!.. |
|
I'm going on 3 years of maintaining..
Tell her to give me a call.. Or just show her my goal thread.. Seriously, don't let the negativity get to you. You've gotten some great advice here.. I think most times we all quietly assume that 'they' 'we' 'whoever' will gain the weight back.. (It's just that she's fabulous enough to say it outloud.). Because, as others have mentioned - unfortunately - that's the way it is.. But this journey is about you - not her - not anyone but you.. Stay strong and keep up the great work.. I wish you all the best... |
